Away for a day or two

Hi fellow bloggers - we are away for a day or two . Celia and Sibohan are looking after the yard ..........

full report and quotes to follow.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

John :)

the day off that wasn't

Hmmmmm......well what's new :)

Ren took Hannah for a hoon on the Mendips - Tora was taken by Hannah for a hoon on the Mendips - Tora took her two four-leggeds for a hoon on the Mendips - John and Lou took in the view :)

Bex and Ray came to visit.

Splash and Mo have returned to soundness - thanks John H and Nigel

Getting ready for the show at the weekend.

Ian and Stephanie arrived for their experience day.

Had a hilarious lunch with Tora and Hannah and Alfie's parents - Lou had a desert starter followed by a desert finish - well part of mine anyway - thanks for the invite guys.

A saying or two

Avenge yourself. Live long enough to be a problem to your kids

and

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most


Then the sign

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
"Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages."


WOMEN’S RULES OF SEX


If a man says he’ll phone, HE MUST DO SO OR BURN IN THE PUTRID FIERY HELL OF SATAN’S ARSE

Sunday , Sunday........

Congratulations to Ellie ...............you rode really well and I know impressed Dad with what you achieved - Nina too. Well done.

Ren and Hannah had a great time on the hill - made up for Saturday which was less happy.

Lou had a great time with Maggie and Sam - they seemed to laugh the whole day through and thoroughly enjoyed their experience day.

Two of the foals are now weaned and two more ready to go.
Day off today :)

A saying or two

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.” (Rod Stewart).

and

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.” (Barbara Bush).



Then the sign

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
"Ladies may have a fit upstairs."


WOMEN’S RULES OF SEX


We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

Saturday Rules OK

Ellie had her second and third lessons today and did brilliantly.

Area 3 members need to let us know if they are interested in being part of the team at the National championships.

Malcolm and Elaine made their monthly visit - Mal did so well on Zip - good to see them both and to have the chicken and chips Lou cooked for our tea - damned good it were.

Ellie was exhausted after her first full day but according to teach - Sarah had a great day.

Fingers crossed for Ilan in Kreuth tonight.

Bex had a great lesson again – always good to see her here and John and Vanda too.


A saying or two

Examinations - nature’s laxatives.

and

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

and

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” (Billy Crystal).

Then the sign

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
"If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it."


Outside a country shop:
"We buy junk and sell antiques."


WOMEN’S RULES OF SEX

Sex should not be rushed unless Eastenders is about to start.

POETS day musings

Good luck to Peggy Sharon with her new and imminent litter.

Cat and, soon to be dentist, Sarah came to visit with Lord Rowan and Lady Ellie in tow. Good to meet Sarah after hearing so much about her from Cat.

Sarah is back in the house - (big brother devotees will know what I mean)

Ellie has come to stay and play till Sunday - she'll either love It or hate by then - methinks the former will apply. Had great time with Beth , Nina and Ellie last night - sorry you couldn't make it John

Sarah H brought over her two and a lil pony for some exercise - all seemed to have fun. Ziggy met his match in the round pen with two Sarah's on his case.

Charlotte has an in with a puncture repair man - good looker (even if I say so) and can sure fix a tyre or two - good on you Charlotte.

Tora rode Dylan for the first time since May - he looked great , calm and fun. Good plan Tora seems to have worked :)

Plans for next Area 3 show to be announced tomorrow.

Good luck to England in the Ashes - would so like to see them win but after today's performance think it is unlikely.



A saying or two

“Ah, yes, divorce. From the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” (Robin Williams).

and

“And God said, ‘Let there be Satan, so people don’t blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don’t blame everything on Satan.” (George Burns).

Then the signs

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
"Drop your trousers here for best results."

In an Acapulco hotel:
"The manager has personally passed all the water served here."


WOMEN’S RULES OF SEX

Cellulite and stretch marks are very sexy, feminine things that should be worshipped.

During sex a woman may eat or read so that she, too, can gain some sort of pleasure.

Wednesday's blog on Thursday morning.

OK - it's a poor excuse but I'm back a day later than intended :)

We got the hay in - and it is beautiful - lush even. Thanks to Danny and the team.

So what's the news:

Well since my last broadcast we had a terrific show. I have had a shave. The lawn has been cut. Ludo looks like a cotton wool ball - au buffant . Sarah has settled and lessons are filling up fast. Lou has become a great teacher. Mandy had an experience .....and enjoyed it ! Hannah and Ren are practising patience - well at least Ren is :) Tora is almost fully fit and always keeps the yard moral up with biscuits and 'coffee boss ? ' Ploy enjoyed her white wine. Dave and Judy got married. Wills and I cleared the barn, Sarah has put Ziggy on a diet. Cat and Emma are on top form and frequent visitors.......and loads loads more.

Good luck to Angelo and Sue and all the other Brits at Europeans.

Tibby, Lady, ladybug, Ruben and Barbie are all doing treat guns under Sarah's training. We'll soon have a football team at this rate.

Prue,Eleni and Mike are coming over regularly to use the school as is Sally - it's great to see them and the facilities being used.

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On a sad note Simon Baden lost his Mum after a long and brave fight with cancer.....our thought are with you and yours at this difficult time.

Sad news for Jo too as she lost her dog on August the 14th - thinking of you Jo.

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If you are still with me - thanks for letting me know the blog has been missed - sign on and add comments - I need them to keep me thinking it has a purpose and is being read. and...........don't say I'll do it later - do it now and then we can really have some banter :)

Some ditties by popular demand.


Sayings of the day

I don’t cook. I can’t be good in every room in the house!

“My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she’s reading.” (Steve Jobs - founder of Apple Computers).


and the signs

In the window of an Oregon store:
"Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"

In an East African newspaper:
"A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors
have thrown in the bulk of their workers."

and a new section or is that sexion.

WOMEN’S RULES OF SEX

Foreplay does not mean 5 pints of lager, taking your kit off and putting your chips down.

The sun shone and the ribbons fluttered.

Our first day of competition got underway - terrific weather and a great turnout.

pictures and information available later today on the main website.


Come along and join in

What a great start.............

The 3rd Western Week is underway.

The Daily Rail the weeks daily news rag wil be published on the website tomorrow.

Congatulations to 'mam'.

Looking forward to tomorrow and some more sun please :)

thoughts:

'Always drink upstream from the herd.'

'Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got'

and the sign - well two of them :)


In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS


Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Western Week underway.

Western Week gets underway today.

We hope as many of our members and friends will visiti over the week as can make it.

John Beer barn is open all evenings - Lou's food on offer too.

Join us onThursday night for Sarah Simmons groundwork demonstration - a must if you can get here - free to all. Friday night is BBQ night with live band (the irish gang :) ) tickets available from the office. 01934 751258 -(leave a message and we'll get back to you ) Saturday - dog agility demo and 'have a go' evening followed by the Pub quiz.

And then of course there's the show ! Friday Saturday and Sunday.

Hope to see some of you over the week.

All the best - John and Lou

Now this is worth a read.........

A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she
saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.
It was addressed, 'Mum' With the worst premonition, she opened the
envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

'Dear, Mum.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene
with Dad and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's,
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much
older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Mum. She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the
woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really
hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with
the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS,
so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Mum, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your
many grandchildren.



Love, your son, Nicholas.


"P.S. Mum, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
the school report that's on my desk"
I love you!
Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Thanks in Advance